Gene is stupid as ever

February 26, 2006

Here’s his most recent letter posted to his idiotblog. Where do I start?

Gene Chapman, Minister of Christ
P.O. Box 295545
Lewisville, Texas 75029

February 25, 2006

Dr. Ravi Zacharias
Norcross, GA XXXXXX

Dear Dr. Zacharias:

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and Peace from God our Father. I am a big fan of your work, having studied for the ministry over a ten year period at four universities and enjoyed Philosophy class so much myself.

I seem to recall his claims of attending 4 universities was soundly refuted by a check of the admission records of the Schools that doughboy said he attended.

To keep it short, per my phone conversation this past week with Mary Holman, I am writing to ask that you both join us in our class action against the U.S. Government and be the spokesman for our small but growing group of pastors and laypersons in the matter I enclosed to you.

As I am the primary complainant in the class action, I also think you would make a fine expert witness at trial, as you see the Lord lead.

The door is open to you, and I hope you will meet with me soon, at your invitation, to discuss further the matter at hand.

Most respectfully,

Gene Chapman, Minister of Christ
cell# 972-872-0784

His cell phone number – His cell phone number! Oh! Behaaave!


According to Instapundit…

February 23, 2006

There’s some “thugs” that are threatening websites that post any of the so-called defamation cartoons from the Danish Cartoonists. Well, in that sprit – Enjoy 2 of the cartoons here. Should the morons be so devoid of any sense of reality – please protest, threaten and otherwise engage in boorish behavior. Please.

As an earlier post pointed out, I’m currently switching cell phone providers. I am usually a very reluctant provider changer due to the headaches involved. I live by the old axiom about not fixing what isn’t broke – normally.

But the service I have used forever, I won’t mention any names, but the initials are “S.p.r.i.n.t.” has turned me from a satisfied customer to one pissed off puppy. Why? Glad you asked.

I’ve had my current cell phone for going on 2 years. I decided I wanted a new fancy (smaller) phone. I wanted to go back to a “flip” style phone instead of my current block one. Soooo, off to shop on the online store of this unnamed company. After a few days of off and on searching, I decided to go with a Sanyo phone, flip with a camera and the ability to use the phone for internet with their “power vision” service. Swell… Yeah, right. If you take a gander at the map on the upper left, you’ll see that Sprint Power Vision (indicated by the orange color) is only available in what appears to be a 2 block radius in Las Vegas (I’m pretty sure the orange is covering McCarran Airport). Drop your gaze about a millimeter down and you’ll see “Needles” and “Bullhead City”. I live a skooch above and to the left of the little dot that signifies Bullhead City. The fact that the name of my town isn’t even on Sprint’s map is telling in and of itself. You’ll notice the lack of any orange in a hundred mile radius of that little dot, right?

Ok, back to the phone saga – this all comes together. The phone I wanted to purchase was $300. Well, not that I don’t love capitalism in all it’s glory, I ain’t paying $300 for a freaking cell phone. Sprint has a “promotion” wherein they will “rebate” up to $150 off a phone if you’ve had 2 years of service, or activate a new line with a 2year contract. Ok, had service with them well over 2 years* and $150 doesn’t sound nearly as bad. Well, time to read the fine print on the little “deal” they offer.

To take advantage of these offers, your account must be in good standing, and you’ll need to sign up for the following:

A $34.99 per month or higher Sprint PCS Service Plan
Either a new one- or two-year Sprint subscriber agreement
Sprint PCS VisionSM (if purchasing a Sprint PCS VisionSM phone

A phone activation fee of up to $36 may apply.
Program expires March 31, 2006.

Well, the phone I wanted was a Sprint PSC Vision phone. But, as a glance at the map would show, that service isn’t available to me. Dammit, I felt discriminated against simply for living in a somewhat rural area.

So being a savvy consumer, I decided to contact Sprint and give them an opportunity to make a long standing on time paying customer happy. I wasn’t asking for much, just a simple waiver of the requirement that I spend what would amount to $360 (over the 2 years) on a service that I wasn’t able to obtain. Yeah, I know, spending $360 to save $150 doesn’t sound all that smart either – but if the service had been available in my area, I would have spent the money anyway – so you could say I was only spending $210 by taking the rebate on the phone – right?

So, this is what I get in response to my well-written, polite and completely literate email to Sprint Customer Service. I kid you not, I am not making this up, this is the actual copy and paste of the Email that Sprint Customer “Service” sent me. (the red highlights are my comments)

Thank you for contacting Sprint together with Nextel. I will be happy to assist you regarding regarding the EVDO phone.

I will reply your concern in points just to make it easier to understand. (ok,not a good start, that pissed me off the moment I read it)

1. Regardingthe rebate :

The EVDO phones can only be used with the EVDO plans. They are not compatible with the normal vision plan. So, if you will purchase a EVDOcapable phone, the EVDO vision pack is must. (Apparently English isn’t his/her first language)

2. We are working on this and also spending our ares so that we will be able to offer all of our customers with the EVDO offers. (WTF?!? Again literacy not a strong point in the hiring process at Sprint)

Please let me know if there is anything else I an do for you. It is always a pleasure serving a responsible customer like you. (ahh, an acknowledgment that Sprint makes a fortune off me – he who never uses all his minutes, but pays for them anyway)

Further, To assist you in an effective manner, we require certain additional information for which we need to personally talk to you. We have a dedicated group of customer specialists, who work on resolving concerns such as yours. (Right, your dedication is real impressive)

Therefore, I request you to contact us at 1-888-211-4727. When prompted to enter your PCS Phone Number, enter any of your 10 digit home or work phone number. When you hear our virtual representative, give the verbal command ‘Representative’ or ‘Specialist’. Your call will be directed to one of our specialists who would be glad to assist you. (yes, I really want to call an 888 number, burn my minutes up to speak to a computer – swell day)

Thank you for contacting us. Have a great day.

Neo (NEO? NEO?? I’m getting emails from the fricking Matrix?)
Sprint together with Nextel
“Where our customers come first!”

That above letter from Sprint was actually the 2nd I got from “Neo”. The first one was the exact same wording. I suppose the reason for the 2nd one was because I wrote this to Sprint.

Dear “Customer Solutions”,

I asked a simple question regarding the upgrade program that you offer. I consider the upgrade program unfair because it requires me to subscribe to a service that is not available in my area and may never be. To stop from having to do that, I felt as though I was being pushed into buying an inferior handset. So, being a long time customer of SprintPCS, I asked a simple question – is there any other option that would help me get the phone I wanted and not have to pay for an option I am unable to use. OK, I wanted a waiver of that requirement, heck I should be considered an ideal customer, I never use even close to the amount of minutes for which I pay for – Sprint makes money on me every month.

What do I get in response? A condescending “point by point” letter from someone who is barely literate and uses a signature of “Neo”. Swell. For the first time since becoming a Sprint customer, I am actively looking for another carrier. I am normally an undemanding Customer, but I feel as though by living in an area that isn’t considered “metropolitian”, I’m being discriminated against.

I’m not feeling as though “I come first” in this situation.

Apparently, my response went back to NEO, who sent the 2nd email. I doubt he was able to comprehend my reply, so that part doesn’t bother me.

So – I’m the worst sort of consumer in that when I feel wronged, I never – ever – go back or deal with that company again. One of the local casinos down here had a dealer that ticked me off back in 1989 and I haven’t stepped foot in that joint since. Serious grudge holder I am.

So, it’s off to deal with Verizon. That’s a whole nudder post.

Peace out.


*Been with Sprint for over 9 years

Satisfaction Guarantee that my new provider has and, well, either I’m incredibly stupid or this Guarantee contradicts itself. See for yourself as I’ll highlight what I mean:

Satisfaction Guarantee
You may terminate service for any reason within 15 days of activation. If you purchased equipment from us at a promotional price at the time of activation, you must return that equipment to avoid being assessed a $175 early termination fee. You will be responsible for all applicable usage fees, prorated access charges, taxes, surcharges or other charges that accrued to your account through the termination date. If you paid a security deposit, it may take between 30 and 60 days to process the return of your security deposit. The charges for any service used on the account before the service termination date may be applied against your security deposit.

Return and Service Termination
You may return any or all of your merchandise for any reason within 15 days of purchase. *

The original customer receipt must accompany all returns.

If you cancel your service within the 15-day period, but prior to the expiration of your minimum term, you will be responsible for all applicable usage fees, access charges, taxes, surcharges or other charges that accrued to your account through the termination date, including a $175 early termination fee.

If you return your merchandise, even by mistake, more than 15 days after your purchase, you will not receive a refund and the merchandise you returned will not be returned to you.

So, the way I read this, you can return the equipment within 15 days with no penalty for doing so. But you can’t cancel the service without incurring a termination fee – meaning you have no phone, but still have to pay for the service.

I especially love the last paragraph – if you make a mistake and return the merchandise (how exactly would someone accidentally return a cell phone?) you’re out of luck. Does that actually happen?

I know this is way off topic, but I just thought it was interesting. I’m not bothered by it simply because I do loads of research before ever switching cell phone providers and I know it works in my locale. But, I wonder if people actually read this stuff before signing up? Enough people band together and this kind of self-serving “agreements” would be history.

Just when I thought Gene was getting boring. OK, he’s still boring, but he’s starting to get funny again. I suppose the meds he got when he was involuntarily committed to the psych ward are finally wearing off. Here’s the latest from the togafraud:

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Posted 2/11/2006 01:53:00 PM by Gene
Round Table Talk: The Newspaper is in my hands, and I’m sad to say that only 6 of the 9 things I wanted printed of mine made it. I thought I’d made it clear that my payment for the publishing of the entire newspaper meant that all my materials would be printed, but I guess I was mistaken. There were also some serios errors in the sermon on the front page: “Let My People Go.”

I’m sorry to hear that neither Bob Schultz’ material nor Rick Stanley’s story made tha paper. I can assure you all that I will be proof reading anything in the future that goes into “The Truth Newspaper.” I didn’t pay $4,000 for half my ideas to get mailed out, but we will suck it up and go on. My appologies to Rick Stanley.

We will mail out my “Class Action” to the 1,500 churches in the coming weeks, as it didn’t make the paper. This was my primary reasom for printing the peper, but we will go on from where we are.

On another note, I’m talking to a theologian friend of mine in South Carolina about printing a newspaper: “The Textus Receptus Journal” or someting of the sort.

I can’t quite decide how to proceed with the printing of my sermons, but the failures in communication on this last printing are troubling.

6 of 9? That someone would actually print 66% of your tripe is amazing in and of itself. How do you get a copy of “The Newspaper”? I’d pay real FRN’s for one.

“serios” errors, huh? I think I read that “sermon” once, the serious error is that Gene believes he’s able to interpret the Bible. Oh, I forgot, he had a few years as a Peterbilt Missionary. My bad. $4000? Hey IRS, did you hear that?

The “Class Action” to 1500 churches? I wonder if we can arrange to have all 1500 delivered on the same day? The sound of so much laughter at one time would be deafening – and maybe worth an entry into the Guiness Book of World Records.

“The Textus Receptus Journal”? I wonder what Gene’s obsession with Greek is? Hmmm, perhaps his wanting to stay at Kenline’s house has a deeper meaning? “Hey Doug, did you drop this soap?”

Gee, Gene having a failure to communicate? Why did I just hear that Cap’n from “Cool Hand Luke” just as I typed that? Ahh, where’s a Louisiana Prison Guard with a sniper rifle when you need him? Did I just say that out loud? Sorry.